Horace, Satire 1.9

Ibam forte via sacra, sicut meus est mos

nescio quid meditans nugarum , totus in illis.

accurrit quidam notus mihi nomine tantum,

arreptaque manu: 'quid agis, dulcissime rerum?'

'suaviter, ut nunc est' inquam, 'et cupio omnia, quae vis.'

cum adsectaretur: 'numquid vis?' occupo, at ille

'noris nos' inquit, 'docti sumus.' hic ego: 'pluris

hoc' inquam 'mihi eris.' misere discedere quaerens

ire modo ocius, interdum consistere, in aurem

dicere nescio quid puero, cum sudor ad imos

manaret talos. 'o te, Bolane, cerebri

felicem' aiebam tacitus, cum quidlibet ille

garriret, vicos, urbem laudaret. ut illi

nil respondebam: 'misere cupis' inquit 'abire;

iam dudum video. sed nil agis; usque tenebo.

persequar hinc, quo nunc iter est tibi.' 'nil opus est te

circumagi: quendam volo visere non tibi notum;

trans Tiberim longe cubat is prope Caesaris hortos.'

'nil habeo, quad agam, et non sum piger: usque sequar te.'

demitto auriculas, ut iniquae mentis asellus,

cum gravius dorso subiit onus. incipit ille:

'si bene me novi, non Viscum pluis amicum,

non Varium facies: nam quis me scribere pluris

aut citius possit versus? quis membra movere

mollius? invideat quod et Hermogenes ego canto.'

interpellandi locus hic erat: 'est tibi mater,

cognati, quis te salvo est opus?' 'haud mihi quisquam;

omnis composui.' 'felices! nunc ego resto.

confice! manque instat fatum mihi triste, Sabella

quod puero cecinit divina mota anus urna:

hunc neque dira venena, nec hosticus auferet ensis,

nec laterum dolor aut tussis, nec tarda podagra:

garrulus hunc quando consumet cumque. loquaces,

si sapiat, vitet, simul atque adoleverit aetas.'

ventum erat ad Vestae, quarta iam parte diei

praeterita, et casu tum respondere vadato

debebat, quod ni fecisset, perdere litem.

'si me amas' inquit, 'paulum hi ades.' 'inteream, si

aut valeo stare aut novi civilia iura,

et propero, quo scis.' 'dubius sum, quid faciam' inquit,

''tene relinquam, an rem.' 'me, sodes.' 'non faciam' ille

et praecedere coepit. ego, ut contendere durum

cum victore, sequor. 'Maecenas quomodo tecum?'

hinc repetit, 'paucorum hominum et mentis bene sanae;

nemo dexterius fortuna est usus. haberes

magum adiutorem, posset qui ferre secundas,

hunc hominem velles si tradere. dispeream, ni

summosses omnis.' 'non isto vivimus illic,

quo tu rere, modo. domus hac nec purior ulla est,

nec magis his aliena malis. nil mi officit, inquam,

ditior hic aut est quia doctior: est locus uni

cuique suus.' 'accendis, quare cupiam magis illi

proxumus esse.' 'velis tantummodo: quae tua virtus,

expugnabis, et est, qui vinci possit, eoque

difficilis aditus primos habet.' 'haud mihi dero:

muneribus servos corrumpam; non, hodie si

exclusus fuero, destistam; tempora quaeram,

occurram in triviis, deducam. nil sine magno

vita labore dedit mortalibus.' haec dum agit, ecce

Fuscus Aristius occurrit, mihi carus et illum

qui pulchre nosset. consistimus. 'unde venis?' et

'quo tendis?' rogat et respondet. vellere coepi

et pressare manu lentissima brachia, nutans,

distorquens oculos, ut me eriperet. male salsus

ridens dissumulare, meum iecur urere bilis:

'certe nescio quid secreto velle loqui te

aibas mecum.' 'memini bene, sed meliore

tempore dicam: hodie tricesima sabbata. vin tu

curtis Iudaeis oppedere?' 'nulla mihi' inquam

'religio est.' 'at mi! sum paulo infirmior, unus

multorum. ignosces; alias loquar.' huncine solem

tam nigrum surrexe mihi! fugit inprobus ac me

sub cultro linquit. casu venit obvius illi

adversarius et 'quo tu, turpissime?' magna

inclamat voce, et 'licet antestari?' ego vero

oppono auriculam. rapit in ius: clamor utrimque,

undique concursus. sic me servavit Apollo.

By chance I was going by the sacred way, as is my custom,

contemplating I don't know what of trifles, totally in these things.

A certain man familiar to me only in name ran up

and seized my hand: "How are you, the sweetest thing of the world?"

"Pleasantly, just as it is now," I say, "and I want you to have everything which you wish."

Since he followed closely: "Surely you don't want something?" I take the lead over, but he

says, "You should get to know me. I am learned." At this I say, "You will

be to me worth more for this reason." Miserably seeking to depart,

I go now more quickly, at times I stop, I say

I don't know what to the boy in his ear, while sweat was flowing

to the bottom or my ankles. "Oh you, Bolanus, lucky

for your temper," I was silently saying, while he was chattering whatever,

he was praising the city, the neighborhoods. Since

I was responding nothing to him: "You miserably wish to leave," he said.

"For a long time I see that. But you do nothing; I continuously persist.

Henceforth I will pursue to where you are now going." "It is not necessary

to be led out of your way: I wish to go see a certain friend not known to you;

far across the Tiber near the gardens of Caesar he is confined to bed by illness."

"I have nothing which I am doing, and I am not lazy: I will follow you all the way."

I send down my ears, just as a young donkey discontented of mind,

when he undergoes a rather heavy burden on a hill. He said:

"As certainly as I know myself, you will not regard Viscus Varius as a friend

of more value: for who can write more verses

or quicker than me? Who can more limbs

more gently? Even Hermogenes would envy what I sing."

This was a location for interrupting: "Do you have a mother,

whose concern is it that you are healthy?" "I don't have anyone;

I buried them all." "What lucky people! Now I remain.

Finish me off! For a sad fate looms over me, which

an old Sabine woman having shaken her urn said to me when I was a boy:

neither terrible poison nor the hostile sword will kill this boy,

nor pain of his sides nor gout:

a chatterbox will destroy this one at some point or other. If he is wise,

he will avoid talkative people, up until he reaches the prime of his life."

We had come to the temple of Vesta, now with the fourth part of the day

having passed by, and by chance he had to respond to a plaintiff,

which, unless he did it, he would have to loose the case.

"If you love me," he said, "be by my side for a little bit." "May I perish, if

either I am strong enough to stand or if I know civil laws,

and I hasten, whither you know." "I am uncertain what I am to do," he said,

"Will I abandon you or the thing." "Me, please." "I will not do that," he

said and began to go on ahead. I, since it is hard to compete

with the victor, follow. "How are things with you and Maecenas?"

he resumed, "well sound in mind of a few men;

fortune enjoys nobody more favorably. You have

a great helper, he who can play second,

if you wish to introduce this man. May I perish, lest

you have banished all others." "We are not living in that manner there,

in which you think. His house is neither more clean in this way than any other,

nor more evil to this aliens. It does not impede me, I say,

whether he is more wealthy or more learned: to each one

there is is own spot." "You tell a great thing, scarcely believable." "But

it is so." "You arouse me, wherefore I will wish to be next

to him more." "You would only wish it: which is your virtue,

you will conquer, he who is able to be conquered, for that

reason he keeps the first approach exclusive." "I will hardly fail myself:

I will corrupt the slaves with gifts; if I am excluded

today, I will not stop. I will search out the right times,

I will hurry to meet him in the streets, I will escort him. Life has given

nothing to mortals without great labor." While he was saying these things, behold,

Aristius Fuscus rain up, dear to me and the kind who

would know him well. We stop. "From where are you coming?" and

"For what purpose are you proceeding?" He asks and responds. I begin to tug

and to press my hand against his most unresponsive arms with nodding,

twisting my eyes this way and that, in order that he would rescue me. Laughing, he

pretends to misunderstand, bile burns my liver:

"Certainly you are saying that you wish to speak

with me secretly." "I remember well, but I will speak at a

better time: today is the thirtieth sabbath. You don't

wish to fart in the face of a circumcised Jew, do you?" "No religion is

for me," I say. "But I am! I am a little weak, one

of many. For give me; I will speak at another time." This day

rose so dark for me! The shameless fled and

abandoned me under the knife. By chance a hostile enemy came

to that place and "Where are you going, saddest of men?" he cried

in a great voice, and "Is it permitted for me to call you as a witness?" Indeed, I

offered my ear. He hurries to court: shouting is on both sides,

running to and fro on all sides. Thus Apollo protects me.